Why Fear Monsters Like to Hold a Grudge
Hi everyone! I hope you had a good Monday!
This past week, I noticed a really old wound that was triggered a couple of times, and being triggered is never fun, but since it came up twice in one week, I decided it was time to let it go. Part of my healing process involves forgiveness, for both myself and the person who hurt me, but I found I had a really hard time forgiving this particular person.
Part of that is probably because it's such and old emotional wound that I've just gotten in the habit of being angry for what they did to me. It's hard to break out of old habits like that.
I know the whole, "Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Yep, got it. Makes sense. I also know that forgiving someone doesn't make what they did okay, it just means refusing to carry the burden of anger anymore. I've got that in my head too.
But another reason (often overlooked) that we hold onto anger is that fear monsters like to wear that "victim" role like a badge of honor. If you hold onto it for long enough, it can almost become a part of your identity. The ego doesn't like to forgive because knowing that you're totally a way better person than they are can feel good, in spite of the damage that anger can do to your psyche.
Do you have some "trophies" in your fear monster's trophy case that you're ready to let go of? Let me know in the comments!
Sending you all lots of love,
Jillian